It's hot enough these days that you can nearly feel yourself melting, ever so slowly shrinking from all the heat that is radiating. I really had nothing better to do today than melt, shrink or watch television. I did run out of hawaiian punch though. That prompted a pilgrimage to the air conditioned grocery store. What followed was a quest to experience artificial weather. Not the best artificial weather, but merely the better kind. These days doing the best takes more motivation than usual, and that's hard now with the spirit all melted and shrunken.
Despite the lack of motivation I did summon up the ability to go down to the office of my local cable carrier to debate this month's bill. The fact that the bill they sent me was asking twice what they usually stick out their hand for was enough to get me going into that building and giving them a nice old fashioned "this is unfair" rant. That motivated me more than the quest for air conditioning. Although the building itself was airconditioned so that was a plus. If I walked out of this victorious I'd have to call it a win-win.
Their reason for the sharp increase was that I had failed to pay for the previous month's services. I am quite the diligent bill payer and try my best to handle my own finances, so I came armed with my previous two month's bank statements. June's statement said "yes" I did pay that bill. I bring two because I like my arguments to have a hell of a lot of insurance. I present these facts to them. They're somewhat impressed by this. All of those excuses that customer service people throw at you suddenly went out the window, they were willing to find out what was going on. However their help wasn't as expedient as I wanted it to be, their process was a bit more bureaucratic for that. An inquiry had to be made.
I just knew that the check I had written last month had to be sitting back there somewhere. Somebody probably was using it as a coaster for their margarita. I know that behind every closed door there is some sort of party going on. It must happen in all these institutions. At the counter everything is all prim, proper and all matter of fact, but behind that door that says private it's like Cinco de Mayo at the frat house. I wanted to see where this was going, but they said they'd call me. So I finally went on my way.
At home it's much too hot to do anything. It's one of what feels like six days or fewer in New York state where that actually happens. I pop "The Burbs" into my DVD player. Today feels like the perfect day for that. A listless, dull but hot summer day where nothing happens. It's perfect for a movie where the protagonists are pretty much succumbing to the effects of the same thing. I watch it wondering why my neighborhood isn't like that. Maybe we do have crazy Vietnam vets with comical espionage abilities and I just don't know it. Nobody really wanders the streets handing out brownies from a platter around here. It's a nice neighborhood but there just isn't that high level of hospitality.
I do wish I had neighbors that drove their garbage to the curb, just so I could have something to watch after dusk. I don't know what goes on in people's basements and sadly I have no desire to. I do sometimes wonder if my house is the suspicious house on the block though. I wonder if people think I'm strange for walking about at midnight in the foggy haze because there was nothing good on at that hour. That would explain why nobody was giving me brownies.
As the movie ended I got my phone call from my cable and internet provider. I don't mention their name here because I fear some cryptic Orwellian type of censorship. I wonder if some goateed man sits in a large office watching a big screen of everything written on "his" internet. I bet they'd love to squash some blogger who's spending his evening complaining about their billing tactics rather than enjoying his "fast and amazing" internet service. But anyways, they found their error. Yes it was indeed their error. They accidentally credited somebody elses account with my check. Oh how I'd love to be the lucky sap who got to watch television on my dime.
I'm sure there will be more to come from this soap box. The spirit might have shrunk in the summer sun a little but hasn't completely melted. Those Klondike bars that I bought on my airconditioned pilgrimage didn't fare as well though, sadly.
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