The Cane Mutiny

Most days I do despise my employment but that's not to say that I don't have fun.

Our store is blessed with a multitude of electric carts, you know they're like wheel chairs but without that slow boring stigma. One of the noble duties of the grocery store employee is yelling at the people who ride those carts around undeservedly. Those fun loving individuals who shouldn't make light of other's handicaps by taking their sweet rides.

Tonight a fellow got on one and repeatedly drove it back and forth around the entrance. I spied on this through the bottle return window at the service desk and then I told him he needed to get off the vehicle. The fact that I'm doing this is scary within itself, it's like I was turning into a curmudgeonly old man right before my eyes.

"But what if I'm handicapped? I need this" said the man on the electric cart as he got up and walked toward my window. I told him that he was doing a poor job of defending his case as he walked toward me just fine, not at all demonstrating any signs of a person in need of such mechanical assistance. "Well if you can come back and prove you are in a condition to need that vehicle then I can let you use it," I said. I told him to come back with a cane, or some crutches.

To demonstrate I held up a cane from the store's lost and found (you'd be suprised how many people leave canes behind). "Let me have that one" he said. I replied "no, this one is mine." I then implored him to seek his own cane, and if he returned with it he could then ride the electric cart.

I then wondered how he would even get a cane, I tried not to think of it. What kind of evil scavenger hunt have I encouraged?