It's a Nice Day For a White Wedding

I don't go to a lot of weddings, it could be that most of my friends are still unmarried, or maybe I just don't like going to them. Counting today, the number of weddings I've been to as an adult is 4. That also counts the one I was in. Weddings aren't that bad, they're just odd ordeals, and each one is different. Today we stood, then sat, then we stood, then we sat some more. I like sitting, it's very refreshing. I was just confused on when to do it. Even the bridal party got to sit, everybody. I turn to my friend Walter and go "do you know what's going on?" I was jealous that everybody got to sit. The one wedding I have been in up to this point was outdoors and I had to stand the entire time. When you do that you have to worry about knees locking and such, so when some friends of mine who were in today's wedding party complained about standing I shrugged in disbelief because they got to sit a lot, and yeah I'm not going to hide it, I was jealous.

However it was a good ceremony, and I do like sitting.

And then there's the exit, exiting a wedding is exactly like exiting an aircraft. You grab your things and you wait as everybody files out very slowly. Plus instead of the pilots saying good bye you get to congratulate the newly married. That really is the only similarity between churches and airplanes.

They gave us bubbles for the recession. If you throw rice PETA will come after you, and nobody likes to see a wedding party covered in red paint. Not even at a conceptual artist's wedding.

I wanted to wear my gray suit to the wedding today, but apparently I don't carry the same physique I did in eleventh grade when I last put it on. However I did bring my classy vintage fedora (That's a hat for those keeping score at home).

At the reception I was unsurprisingly seated with people that work at the store. Which is fine for the first ten seconds, then you realize the only thing you have in common is the store you work in and all conversations turn to that ten for ten sale. I do enjoy the people I work with, but I work six days a week and on that one day off I enjoy a respite. A respite really wasn't what I was getting at the table. But soon the alcohol conquered our spirits and we still talked about work, but with a bit more jolly.

I've been to four weddings but this was my very first open bar. There's two ways you can treat an open bar, you can go crazy like you're on spring break or you can treat it with some class. I opted for class. I sipped drinks like it was 1962. Sipping a dry Manhattan in a fedora hardly matched the behavior of my table mates, so I made my rounds of the room. Luckily I did have several other friends there, ones fated with more amusing tables.

Despite the vast flow of free alcohol I think everybody behaved themselves better than expected. I’m pleased to say I didn’t embarrass myself.

So that was the fourth wedding I’ve been to as an adult, I assume I’ll be going to more as my friends and I all advance through life. But remember, Rice is murder.