Obscured By Clouds

I'm writing here! Doesn't anyone see how hard that can possibly be?

Well no, it's not really. It's the thought of writing that makes it seem difficult. Writing itself is quite easy, it's just a pen to paper or fingers to a keyboard. If you think about that, the only thing that would make writing difficult would be the absence of fingers.

But seriously, I should probably include some thoughts here. Where have I been? Forever I've been talking about quitting my job and getting out. I really wanted to, and then they promoted me. It's a minimal promotion, however I do gain responsibility (and tons of it) and I'm rarely bored at work now.

I do want to get away from everything, I'm not sure for how long. Maybe long enough for me to change my name and move to South America. However I think I would stick out like a sore thumb anywhere I go. Still this desire to get away is a prevailing feeling right now. I even include it in my regular salutations, it's bad.

I say things like "Good morning.......... God I think I'm gonna run away with the circus."

Truth is, I can't stand clowns and I'm pretty sure the smell of elephants isn't anything to write home about.

I don't think I'll ever have enough time to clear my head.

For Today Anyway

I think I am going to take some sort of break from documenting my life for a while.

It's not for lack of things to say, I'm just a bit tired of talking.

Why Do Birds Suddenly Appear...

I mean literal living breathing birds. At least five, not quite a flock.

Anyway before I lose direction, they were all inside my place of work. They flew about perching themselves on the rafters. At first everybody thought we had some pretty spiffy sound effects. Sound effects don't make droppings but I digress, there were birds in the building. The irony is if they don't get out they might starve to death in a grocery store. Maybe I just don't know enough about birds, can they survive? It's quite possible.

So join me for my next job, same as the old job, but I'll be running a bird sanctuary out of a grocery store.

These are some strange days indeed.

A Jonesing I Did Go

Sometimes things spontaneously appear and take captive all my attention and resources. Today it was brownies. Not just any brownies mind you, homemade ones; big, thick homemade brownies.

Next I have to explain the power of coincidence, for the last 3 days I have been dreaming of rich chocolate brownies covered in creamy vanilla frosting. Today I had my brownies but it wasn't quite everything. They looked so naked sitting there without frosting. I was suddenly filled with an immediate need for vanilla frosting, I had to have it at all costs.

Due to my culinary ineptitude I don't know how to make frosting, so the most obvious thing to do was out. Besides this was no time for practical thinking. Also, anything other than vanilla frosting magically appearing at my feet would take too much time. I tore my kitchen apart in the hopes that maybe, just maybe there might be a can of frosting somewhere.

There was none to be had, I became all hot and sweaty, restless and jumpy. I was going through some sort of withdrawal. I don't know, I'm no drug addict, I don't know the exact science of this. All I know is that I was jonesing for some vanilla frosting, I needed a fix and I needed it bad.

I headed off to the tiny village store. The town's only seller of lotto tickets, and that's probably the primary reason their doors are still open. That must be the reason, it's not for their convenience. Shopping in a tiny store like this feels like shopping in a bomb shelter about 20 years after the bomb went off, there's an odd assortment of goods and you hope to God that they have what you're looking for. I bought the only can of non-expired frosting in the building. I could almost taste satisfaction. I couldn't get home soon enough.

Yes I had some brownies, yes with frosting and yes they were good.

There's something about it after the fact that feels almost wrong. For twenty minutes I let food control my life, I drove all the way to the store to overpay for one item. I had my brownies but I feel almost dirty, I feel that once I lowered the threshold this far that I might someday end up in the street turning tricks for peanut butter.

But then again I put too much thought into things.

Barely Keeping Eyes Open

Nobody really wonders where I am do they? The truth is, if I'm even home I'm sleeping. Sleep is just so great, I can't get enough of it. If sleep was a stock I would buy it. Hell I would even use up all the sleep metaphors I can think of. I don't even need to count sheep anymore. This is good, it's the opposite of insomnia. Maybe it's some sort of unsomnia, no maybe I should buy a dictionary.

I started school this week, and at work they bumped my hours up to the range of full time. However I have a weekend off from everything, sleep is so much better that way.